Monday 11 May 2015
What is "mamatomo"? (Mama no tomodachi)
Mamatomo, which means 'friendship of the mama', is informal groups formed by a group of mothers of small children. The members usually are in the park or school playground, and come together in periods of time to talk to each other, either simply talk about the latest news or to give moral support to each other in terms of child development.
And of course, the provision of such support is very beneficial for mothers. Sometimes it feels very helpful if we have friends who are in similar circumstances, who know us and were able to give us a boost.
But what if the things that impressed both were based on heart pain?
For example, 37-year-old mistress Fuyu. One year ago, his son (musuko "む す こ") has just stepped on the elementary school "shogakko / し ょ が っ こ", which later also brought his mother to the new process of social interaction with the mother there. They always met at lunch, talked about the problems they are experiencing household, give advice and encouragement, and so forth.
One day, Mrs. Fuyu who do not feel hungry do not order drinks from the cafeteria, while other friends ordered.
Then? This is not a problem, right? For us, this is not seen as something strange or even a bad connotation. No. But what is in our minds, in contrast to what is on the minds of other mothers. Once it happened, Mrs. Fuyu no longer invited to have lunch with them the next day. The mother is also no longer greet when they met on the street. With so alone, Mrs. Fuyu already excluded.
"Maybe they think, 'if you do all that his stingy against the money, we will only burden you.'" So said Mrs. Fuyu.
It what can one learn from this problem? There are two possibilities, namely (1) we have a message what others message; or (2) continue to maintain your independence and out of mamatomo.
Let's look at other similar cases. Mrs Aki is a 39-year-old mother who has a 5 th grade girls. And as Mrs. Fuyu, he also has his own circle of friendship with other moms.
But in the case of a Mrs. Aki, this incident does not make him mired in the association, but rather form a dilemma in itself.
On one day, they were gathered and talked about the bags that carry branded by a mother there. "Very good!" - "I like!" - "Buy it where?" said these mothers. The owner also responded with a light bag, "I got it on the cheap from a friend who lives abroad. If you also want a bag like this, I can order it."
Of course, all mothers nodded toward the offer without any problems. All, except Ms. Aki. Why? Due to the financial condition of the family that are not conducive to buying goods for tertiary. But because he did not want to look flashy, he finally nodded along with the others in buying a bag of discounted elite, albeit with a heavy heart.
Josei Seven re-emphasizing the problem:
"Economic conditions are now increasingly expanding chasm barrier between the rich and the poor. Environmental friendship" yujo [ゆ じ ょ] "as it may seem benign on the surface, but in fact there is a great competition going on in it. What competition? Competition in everything things: revenue husband "otto [夫]", the status of the job "Shigoto [し ご と]", family wealth, physical appearance, academic achievement of children, make-up mothers, branded shoes expensive - even diapers are worn baby. "
An informal survey by Josei Seven revealed that some 60.8% of mothers still appreciate mamatomo due to exchange information about the education of children, 57.7% of women want a place where they can consult about their problems, while 44.3% would boost overall morale, which they could get from the scope of the friendship.
Mamatomo certainly would be very useful if the association really only three reasons that are contained therein. Unfortunately, a lot of negative things growing. What mamatomo in the country you huh? ^ _ ^
